Perfect

You know I wanna be one of those skinny bitches,
with perfect tumblr pictures,
seductive cigarettes and
spend riches on only vintage,

Sometimes I wanna be that
irresistible chick,
that kind of,
idolize in your bed at night,
“wish could be mine”
kind of trick

I wanna be perfect,
want the protruding fat on my hips
to be curved confined and defined
on flat planes
derived like parallel lines

And I want my smile to be bright
and white, no cigarette or coffee stains in sight,
no bags under my eyes or
bruises on my thighs

No half moons in my palms
from fists clenched too tight,

I wanna be that perfect sigh from your lips,
when you’re stealing a kiss,
but the blow’s as strong as a fist,
knock you off your feet,
until you feel eternal bliss,

I want my intelligence to
orgasm your mind,
my words to rub and grind
you into submission until
you feel unrefined and and blind
with pleasure
unconfined, celestial kind of love
when planets align

But the truth is there
are not enough instagram filters
to make me supermodel skinny for my pictures
not enough mouthwash and bandaids
to cover my bruises and teeth stains,
Not enough shit I could buy to make me
cooler than you,
Or newer than you,

I am only bluer than you,
Only covered in colors of emotion,
With only words to give me life and motion,
creation of commotions and
the depth of an ocean,

I am only
insignificant sparks in
the explosive fire,
Only exhalations of breath that start to expire,
Only the hiss of a snake that slithers on higher,
The naked woman in the garden you labeled a liar,

I am only,
birth giving hips and brown-ripened skin,
only slanted eyes and thighs
not made to be thin,
only fingertips that crave more,
and feel for,
worlds beyond to explore,

I am only a war,
between the virgin and whore,
I am the woman,
that you swore to adore,
but only choose to ignore,
when I ask for my rights,
to be as equal as yours,

I am all the things you abhor,

I am unwritten histories,
the colonized mysteries,
rebelling against racist
institutions and their blasphemies,

I am the dark alley streets,
feet that vibe to a beat,
music of the revolution,
that you cannot defeat,

I am acid in the rain,
and the blood in your veins,
I am smoke in your lungs,
and the storm you can’t change,

I am more than an unskinny girl,
I am the knowledge of a world, you can’t begin to unfurl,
I am all the things you don’t know, eyes that God cannot show,
Like a stone thrown in the river, but cannot break its flow,
I am the truth before you heard it,
I am the guilt before the verdict,
I am everything in this world,
that you never knew was perfect.

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